Harper

WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW

Harper is one of the hosts of Blubbercast as well as the President of the United States.

She is very patriotic and often very closed minded in her world view. Harper will often make rushed decisions and make brash statements, often contouring her country to her ludicrous last-minute statements.

In the Blubberverse, Harper ran against the Republicans, Democrats, The Hooker Fuckers, The Fuck You Party and the Suicide Party in the 2016 election and won.

In the first two seasons, Harper depicts herself with a tophat and Silenced Uzi. in Season 3, She uses an anthromorphic snake to represent herself.

Events of the show
Harper winning the presidential election sets up the entirety of the Blubbercast story, causing Zander to go crazy and conspire to kill the Hosts. To make matters worse, she would also enact absurd laws last second to the United States, much to the dismay of '''Dan. '''

During the confrontation with Zander, she conspires with Max to tribute Dan so that she could live.

Harper would end up serving only one term in Office, before losing the election to Fred Durst who would reclaim America's landmass- undoing Harper 's shipwork. (See also:Epilogue and Post Credits)

Relationships
With Max - Harper makes Max abundantally aware of his un-americanness, frequently calling him a 'Lobsterback' and a 'fogbreathing asshole' throughout the show. However, Max 's loyalty to the Pirate Party and his distate to Dan's rebellious nature appears to earn him brownie points from '''Harper. She would go on to frequently defend some of Max 's more questionable ideas (such as Max's Age= Strength philosphy) much to the dismay of Dan'''.

With Dan- the two seemed to be very complacent of eachother until Harper won the election. Despite Dan 's threats and terrorist-like actions, Harper is never truely phased, and is more than comfortable to continue sharing a seat next to Dan on the show.

With Zander - Harper explictily states that she thought Zander was "eh". This attitude was not carried out for long, as Harper called Zander out for saying "thats kinda gay" very frequently at the end of Season 1 Episode 2. Beyond Season 1, Harper seemed genuinly unimpressed when Zander made his return at the end of Season 3 Episode 4- as she was more concerned about Eminem rather than the killer cyborg standing right next to her.

Quotes
"We will give everyone a boat, a cutlass, two barrels of rum and send them off... ...Might get scurvy; who fucking cares." - S1E1, Harper on her Political platform

"I fear that if I go to sleep some sick bastard will come into my room at night and vore me....WITH HIS COCK." - S1E2, on sleeping

"I'm all tits up, fam" - When queried on 'Tits or Ass'

"For your memes to be reffered to as shit tier- thats the clearly the worst thing anyone can experience in their life and the greatest form on disrespect. Also if you lose your job to an illegal immigrant thats pretty fucked up" - On what she considers the lowest form of misery

"I have done absolutely nothing for the show- infact I almost missed the podcast today! " - Harper after doing absolutely nothing for the show and nearly missing the podcast

"Get off my podcast you godless son of a bitch" - To Zander

"Its okay for me, It's not okay for them. It's a double standard; I get the long end of the stick" - On dabbing

"I may be a racist, but I know my fucking bread" - On sandwiches

"I think there's only one country that really matters. That's America." - On World Hunger

"I'm your Southern Brother!" - To Max

"Filthy fucking Swedish piece of shit" - To Fred

"The FBI are ONTO YOU. They are going to take you out you lizard fucker, you terrorist PIECE OF SHIT" - Learning of Dan's disloyalty to her presidency

"People say aaaw its cleaner than fukin ciggarettes because there's no smoke and shit yes there is it causes a tornado" - Harper on Vapers

"We're trying to get sponsored, you utter goblin" - Harper scolding Pewdiepie in 2012 for saying offensive things live on air

Trivia

 * She hails from Texas.
 * Harper is the creator of a youtube series called Shitpost Theory.
 * According to Dan, Harper has scaley testicles.
 * Harper is the instigator of ther re-release of Pirates of the Carribean online
 * As of S1E4, Harper 's gun collection consists of a "six shooter" and a "Winchester Carbine"
 * Up until August 24 2016, Harper was unaware that Russia was no longer Communist.
 * Harper does not have a dick. In S2E2 she details how it just one day dissapeared.
 * Only June 28th, Franz Ferdinand was assiassinated. Harper admitted to being one of the assailants.
 * She doesn't like cowboy racism.
 * Harper killed Hillary Clinton shortly after winning the 2016 US Election.
 * She is able to catch fish in her mouth while swimming.
 * Harper drops her full name in S3E4, "Harper Henry Perskin".
 * Harper went with Dwight D Eisenhower to visit the NASA field centre in 1960, who she met at a Johnny cash concert.
 * She is the inventor of the Desert Eagle.