Season 2 Episode 5

S2E5 is the ninth episode, but the 37th canonical episode of Blubbercast. It debuted on January 20th 2017, and consists of eight topics.

The guest is Jared who is @PretendMaker on Twitter, an (undergound) comedian who has had a fair few banger tweets; and (at the time of recording) had the highest follower count of anyone who had appeared a guest.

This is the finale of Season 2, and is also the last time that the ZX Spectrum style graphics from the Retro Bump were used.

Description
''In this thrilling edition of the show, we welcome our first SPECIAL guest: Jared, or @PretendMaker! He has 1150 today, but tomorrow he will have 2000 followers. Stick around for the in-depth interview on how to become a twitter sensation (sort of). We also have answers to the thrilling questions of: Is Short Bread actually bread? and What would a Mario sitcom be like? All this and more in this edition of Blubbercast!''

Meme Me Up
(See also: Meme Me Up)

Max states the segment off by noting that the memes hadn't been so bad so far as the beggining of 2017, but asks for everyone to leave OwlTurd Comics in 2016.

Dan brings up Lorax memes, and Harper discusses the Hollywood sign.

Jared discusses the slew of posts which all end with the punchline "i have a girlfriend".

Guest Interview
Dan asks Jared about his rise to popularity. Harper asks what Jared 's favourite handgun brand is

Max makes Jared play a minigame in which he quizzes him on his old tweets called Thatz Jared.

2017 Kill Lists
As alot of people died 2016, everyone shares their 2017 death wishlists.

Max wants the entire cast of Blubbercast to perish, as he fully admits everyone present are useless. also kevin hart.

Dan went to get gas for his car, and went to get Subway at the same time. He wishes death upon the cashier because he didn't say 'Have a nice day' or give him a bag.

Harper every single gast food company PR person who tries to copy Wendy's PR department.

Jared wants everyone who follows him to die, so that they can't unfollow him.

What would you do with 1 million dollars?
Max would buy 4 reasonably priced lava lamps, possibly 5 if he could stretch the budget.

Dan would first see if he could afford a darknet assassin to kill the aforementioned cashier, but then would try to increase his assets  by buying lottry tickets. If he then won the lottery, he would use his militia to attempt to take over Ohio.

Harper would purchase Hideo Kojima's slave contract from Norman Reedus, and then re-auction it to Konami.

Jared would buy deoderant in bulk do whatever he could to sabotage the deoderant industry. He would then monopolise the potato industry in Idaho with the help of Dan.

BonoWatch
(See also: Bonowatch)

Max responds to U2 delaying their recent album because Trump became president.

Mario Sitcom
Everyone tries to come up with ideas that result in a successful Mario-themed TV show. Some of the ideas include:
 * A Dexter Crossover
 * Toad getting eaten
 * Donky Kong Jr being a sidekick to Wario
 * An episode about hiding a body
 * Call it F.R.I.E.N.D.S, as everyone in it are friends
 * everyones dies at the end during a targic crash in a mario kart race.

Short Bread "discussion"
Max tries to discuss the marvels of shortbread to everyone, but nobody is really familiar with what it is.

The segment instead devolves into a huge slew of inside jokes. Sorry.

Deviant Fart
(See also: Deviant Fart)

The show ends on a game of Deviant Fart, in which the tag used is Life is Strange.

There is also a reading of horny comments on one the entries.

Quotes
Max: "Do you think Dr.Suess has killed anyone?" Dan:"He must have. he's a doctor"

"Super Mario, you may know his as Jumpman, or Super Mario" - Dan

"new donk city, in liberty city from sonic adventure 4 in max payne 3 from gta5 from pokemon super mystery dungeon from super mario run from skate 3 from kolchak the nightstalker from NBA Jam 2k12 from call of duty black ops 2. i love fallout 4 from wolfenstein the new order. 2." - A slow desecent into hell that everybody contributed to

Harper:"Thats the timeline where they go out for Macdonalds" Dan: "Uh I think something else happened" - Reviewing explicit LiS fanart

Trivia

 * There is an editing error during Bonowatch in which a picture of potatos growing in dirt from the appears. This was meant to appear in the Million Dollar segment, but may have accidentally been dragged